


If Only You Knew

by MsYukari



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F, Infamous Dinner, Light Angst, Mild Hurt/Comfort, One Shot, Porn With Plot, Season/Series 03, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-05-18
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:07:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsYukari/pseuds/MsYukari
Summary: "You never cared about me!""I do, I do care."We all know that infamous dinner from S3E8 "Goldfish."
Relationships: Vera Bennett/Joan Ferguson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 80





	If Only You Knew

**Author's Note:**

> The dinner scene has been done a few times in fanfic, so I always avoided doing it but I was rewatching the episode and decided why not do my own take on it. Hope you enjoy!

“I do, I do care.”

Joan tentatively reached out to cover Vera's hand with her own. People used physical touch to comfort, at least that's what she'd seen others do. It didn't come easily to her, but she knew this was the right thing to do. Vera's hand felt soft and warm under hers, and she gently caressed her skin with her thumb.

_I'm trying, Vera. Please understand._

Vera stared at their hands briefly, her eyes slowly moving to hers. Her lips barely trembled with some undefined emotion before she spoke. “They stabbed me with a needle.”

“Well, that is hardly my fault.” Joan said it before she had a chance to think. Already automatically on the defense, but it wasn't her fault. She couldn't ever negotiate with those animals, no matter how much danger Vera had been in. It was traumatic but Vera made it out okay, and Joan made sure she'd be a stronger woman for it. That's what she'd been getting Vera ready for all this time, the strength to overcome any obstacles in her path.

“I have Hepatitis C.”

For a few seconds, Joan wasn't sure if she heard her correctly and then... well, then she reacted. She pulled her hand away as if she'd been burned, rubbing her hand on her napkin to try and get rid of any germs. She knew it was an irrational reaction, but she couldn't help it then. She wanted to say something, but she was stunned into silence.

_What am I doing?! That look in her eyes, I've destroyed things between us!_

She kept rubbing her hands on the napkin, an almost uncontrollable urge and it was embarrassing for someone else to see. Especially in such a private and intimate setting between them. She watched helplessly as Vera walked out the door.

She knew that Hepatitis C couldn't be spread by the touch of her hand, but she knew she had a phobia. The night was ruined, and she sat for a few seconds trying to compose herself.

She imagined what it would be like the next day when she had to see her at work, and she suddenly couldn't bear the thought of Vera leaving like this. She ran out the door, her eyes landing on Vera's retreating figure.

“Wait!”

Vera appeared startled, but she stopped and stared at Joan. “What do you want?” Vera asked sharply.

Joan licked her lips, a sheepish look on her face. “I-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that. It's not your fault. I have a problem, and I'm embarrassed that I reacted in such a way.”

Vera sighed. “Let's just forget it ever happened,” she said quietly, turning to leave again.

Joan couldn't let her leave, not like this. Grabbing Vera's arm, she turned her around. “Don't walk away from me.” She hardly ever apologized, and Vera had to understand this wasn't easy for her.

“Let go of my arm,” she said coldly.

Joan shook her head and pulled her inside. She stared down at her as she pressed her against the door. Vera trembled, and she felt her smaller breasts rising and falling against her. Joan stared at her full mouth, wanting to trace those lips with her tongue.

“Oh Vera, if only you knew.” She cupped Vera's cheek and kissed her. She kissed softly at first, and then with a growing intensity as she pulled Vera against her. Her tongue licked her lips, seeking entrance and she moaned softly as Vera's tongue rolled over hers.

Vera gently bit her lip, pulling back to look into her eyes. Her breathing was ragged, and Joan leaned down again to kiss her neck. “Joan, what are we doing?”

Her mouth skimmed her throat, moving up to her ear. “Mending our relationship,” she whispered. “I won't ever let anyone try and drive a wedge between us again.”

“But they... they stuck a needle--”

Joan sucked her neck, kissing the very spot she knew Vera had been injected with the syringe. “I know... and I'd give anything to change what happened. I never thought...” She trailed off, her thumb stroking her cheek.

“I never planned for it to happen that way,” she whispered. Vera's breath caught and Joan cupped the back of her head to kiss her deeply, swallowing all of the pain her sensitive deputy felt. Soft lips moved under hers, and she tasted the saltiness of tears. She sighed softly, her lips kissing her wet cheeks gently. She slowly walked Vera over to her kitchen counter, setting her on top of it. Joan moved her hands under her sweater.

“May I?” Vera nodded, and Joan slowly took it off. Vera quickly moved her hand to cover part of her breasts, and Joan shook her head. Her hands caressed her skin, loving her soft warmth. The black lace bra she wore was enticing, and she slowly traced over her breasts. Joan smiled, her hands moving underneath her top and placing it on her chair. Vera's eyes trailed over her body and she normally would feel self conscious, but she was in control here and Vera's self esteem was at stake. She allowed herself to be vulnerable in front of Vera, taking her hand and placing it on her breast.

Vera squeezed gently, her palm rubbing against the material. Joan's nipple hardened from the touch, and she pulled Vera closer. Her breathing deepened as she took off Vera's bra, kissing her neck and shoulder. Joan felt Vera both tense and relax at her touch, and she lowered her hand to stroke her lower back.

Vera tilted her head as she kept kissing her neck, and Joan spread Vera's legs around her waist.

Lowering her hand, she cupped her between her legs and raised her brow at the damp heat. Vera blushed as Joan gently glided her fingertips up and down, caressing her through her pants. She kept doing this until Vera began to ever so slightly rock her hips.

“You're soaked,” Joan murmured, slowly unzipping her pants and stroking her fingers against her wet lips. Vera gasped at the touch, and Joan lifted her hand to lick them.

Vera stared at her with a dreamy eyed look, and Joan took her hand, slowly pulling it down to her heat. “You do the same to me,” she whispered, letting Vera's fingers gently caress her.

Vera wrapped her legs tighter around her waist, pulling her in closer. “Should we be doing this?”

Joan shook her head. “Probably not, but this wouldn't be the first time I broke protocol.” She wrapped her arms around her, carrying her into her bedroom.

Her room was dark except for a very soft glow. She laid Vera onto the bed, moving on top of her. “Undress me,” she rasped, not able to control her burning desire. Once they were both naked, she moved to sit with Vera in her lap. She needed the extra closeness, her hands squeezing Vera's ass as she rocked her hips. Vera held her tightly, rocking and grinding her hips faster. Joan moaned, loving the feel of Vera's fingernails digging into her back. Her soft moans and pants against her ear, Joan held her even closer, needing to possess her.

She lowered her hand, moving a little to give them room so she could thrust inside her. Vera gasped, biting her shoulder as Joan curled her fingers inside. She looked into Vera's eyes, watching as she stroked her fingers inside.

“I need... more,” Vera panted and Joan laid her down, spreading her legs wide. She thrust harder, lifting her thumb to tease her clit. Vera whimpered, her hips lifting to meet her thrusts. Joan's nostrils flared as she watched her fingers slide in and out, and it didn't take long before Vera's legs were shaking.

“Let go,” she whispered, stroking her clit faster. Trembling, she moaned into Joan's neck, her hips pushing against her hand. She squeezed her fingers tightly, still stroking inside her. Joan closed her eyes as Vera came, kissing her deeply.

Vera held her tightly, and Joan looked into her deep blue eyes. Vera swallowed, and Joan could see so many emotions cross her face. If only Vera knew just how transparent she was. Caressing her cheek, she kissed her tenderly.

She took her hand and let it glide down her stomach, feeling Vera's fingers stroke her wet cunt. “Touch me now,” she said, and groaned as Vera slid three fingers inside her.

Joan slowly rocked her hips, lowering her hand to rub her clit. Vera moaned and Joan smiled down at her. “Do you like watching me?”

Vera nodded, thrusting her fingers deeper inside. She moved her hips, stroking her clit as she looked down at Vera.

“Let me taste you... please,” Vera moaned, rising up to kiss her passionately. Joan took Vera's hand and showed it to her.

“You can taste me on your fingers.”

Vera blushed, and Joan watched her with hooded eyes. “Suck them,” she whispered. Vera obeyed, licking them and taking one into her mouth. Joan licked her lips, tracing her breasts as she watched her. “How do I taste?”

Vera appeared startled at the question, and Joan smiled. “Do you need more?”

“Yes... but I've—I've never um...” Vera trailed off, looking a little embarrassed.

“We can take it slow,” Joan said softly, kissing her. She grasped Vera's hand and led her to the foot of the bed. “It might be easier if you're sitting on your knees, on a pillow.”

She sat on the edge, caressing her cheek and jaw and kissed her again. Vera's soft hair caressed her thighs, and she closed her eyes when Vera kissed her wet cunt. She shivered, slowly running her fingers through Vera's hair.

Vera softly and firmly licked, and Joan slowly began to rock her hips against her mouth. She moaned, loving the feel of Vera's lips and tongue on her clit. “Don't stop,” she whispered.

Rocking her hips faster, she slowly laid onto her back. Vera moved up with her, spreading her legs wider and gasped when she slid her fingers inside her again. “Vera,” she moaned, rocking her hips faster when she began to suck on her clit.

“You're so beautiful,” Vera whispered, and Joan grabbed her hand, needing her then more than anything. She was so close to orgasm and the sweet confession from Vera was enough to bring a tear to her eye. She trembled, crying out as she came.

Her body still shaking, she breathed heavily as she laid on the bed. She felt Vera's warm body, her soft lips kissing her skin.

“Joan,” she said softly, kissing her. Her thumb gently wiped the tear from her cheek. She didn't realize it was still there, and she felt extremely vulnerable. She looked warily at Vera, and the smaller woman smiled gently. Vera kissed her deeply, tenderly as she looked down at her.

“Don't ever think I don't care about you,” Joan whispered.

“I won't,” she whispered back.

Joan rested her hand on her hip, pulling her closer. “Is your loyalty still with me?”

“Yes, always with you. But will this... will this affect my career?”

Joan stared at her for a few seconds. “No, it won't. This won't happen again.”

“It... it won't?”

Joan pursed her lips. “Are you saying you want more... with me?”

“Um... well, I mean not if you don't want that,” she said quietly.

Joan smiled slowly and squeezed her ass. “It's what I've always wanted,” she said, kissing her.

_You're mine, no one will ever get between us again._


End file.
